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The Real Fall

Dungeon Party!

Dungeon Crawl!

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(In Rock-Bottom, Cole wakes up.)

Thief: Hey, buddy. Wake up.

Cole: (He sees Adam.) Aah!

(Cole quickly backs away from Adam, startling the spider.)

Thief: Jeez, buddy, relax! That's Adam. He wouldn't hurt a fly. Sounds like you were having a nightmare, so I thought I should wake you up.

Cole: Where am I? Who are you people?

Vania: Cole!

Cole: Vania! Master Wu!

Vania: Thank the mountain.

Sorcerer: Good, sir ninja, allow me to make the introductions! May I present, Korgran of Metalonia!

Korgran: Korgran is pleased to meet you.

Sorcerer: Plundar the Thief! Return his weapon, Plundar.

Plundar: Sorry, force of habit. (He returns Cole's shuriken.)

Sorcerer: And I am Fungus the Sorcerer. Around these parts, we are known simply as the Lowly.

Cole: The Lowly? So you're some kind of team?

Plundar: Uh, we are a party of adventurers. (They stand proudly. Fungus launches a spark in the air.)

Cole: Adventurers? That's just what we need, actually. We're kind of on a quest and we could really use some help.

Korgran: Quest? (He fumbles with his axe, and drops it, nearly hitting Fungus.) Uh, Korgran... very busy just now. Must shine axe. (He walks off.)

Plundar: Uh, yeah, me too. Uh, I've got ... I-I've got stuff to steal. Loot to find. (He walks off as well.)

Fungus: Me as well, unfortunately. My schedule is a nightmare. (He starts walking off.)

Cole: I don't understand. Are you guys adventurers or not?

Fungus: Actually, the sad truth is, we wouldn't be much help. We failed at the only quest we ever attempted, which is why we're down here.

Cole: What happened?

Korgran: Korgran will tell the tale. Fungus. (Fungus makes a purple fire.) Listen and hear of Korgran, who strolled the Earth with furry boots and his talking axe.

Past Korgran: Back, lizard beast! Your tail lashes will not sway Korgran! Korgran will vanquish you this day. No cold-blooded fiend can best Korgran! Nor warm-blooded! Nothing cold or warm! I am not bested. Easy victory for Korgran!

Past Korgran's axe: Well done, Korgran, as sometimes!

Past Korgran: Hmm. No, you mean "as always", Axe?

Past Korgran's axe: Uh, yeah. Of course.

Past Korgran's father: One thousand seven hundred and eighty-six gold coins. That's a six percent quarterly growth rate in Pillaging.

Past Korgran: Father! Korgran is back!

Past Korgran's father: Ugh, son, why do you insist on speaking in third person? I know you think it makes you sound more barbaric, but all I hear is a lack of education.

Past Korgran: After much time, Korgran has proven himself! Korgran is ready to become valuable member of barbarian horde. Behold!

Past Korgran's father: (Gasps.) Ross? Ross, buddy!

Past Korgran: Ooh. Why are you calling monster "Ross"?

Past Korgran's father: This isn't a monster! This is Ross! My Division Manager of Plundering in the Western Region! Oh, so sorry, Ross. My son just gets carried away sometimes.

Past Korgran: (To his axe.) Why you not tell me?

Past Korgran's axe: Uh-oh, compadre! Looks like you vanquished the wrong guy.

Past Korgran's father: Don't tell me you're still talking to your axe! Korgran, you know that's all in your head. It doesn't speak.

Past Korgran's axe: Don't listen to him! It's magic! No one else can hear but you.

Past Korgran: Sorry, Father. Korgran ashamed.

Past Korgran's father: Look, son. I know how important it is for you to complete a quest, but this is the third time you've attacked an ally. You can't keep doing that!

Past Korgran: But all Korgran's friends finished quests years ago. All good quests are gone! Korgran has nothing left!

Past Korgran's father: Okay, look. There is one quest left. But it won't be easy. The King of Shintaro has issued a summons, so you'd have to travel alone to that distant land.

Past Korgran: Korgran will not be alone! He will have his axe! (His father glares at him.) His... normal axe, which does not talk.

Past Korgran's axe: (Korgran climbs up Shintaro Mountain.) Up we go! You and me forever, buddy.

Fungus: This is the part where we come in. For we, too, had answered the King's call and journeyed to Shintaro.

Past Fungus: My magic is at your service!

Past Korgran: And Korgran's axe! Which does not talk.

Past Plundar: And Plundar's cunning!

Past Vangelis: Good. For the city is built over an ancient dungeon full of untold treasures and loot. Countless adventurers have sought these riches and never been seen again. For the dungeons are also filled with dangerous creatures, traps and artifacts of terrible evil. The most evil of these is the Skull of Hazza D'ur. Bring it to me so that I may see it destroyed with my own eyes. Only then will Shintaro be truly safe. What say you? Will you accept this quest?

Past Fungus: I will!

Past Korgran: So will Korgran!

Past Plundar: You had me at "loot."

Past Vangelis: Thank you. And may fortune smile upon you and keep you safe.

Fungus: So it was. We entered the dismal darkness of the Dungeons of Shintaro.

Plundar: It wasn't that dismal. I'm not saying it was a stroll in the park. It wasn't long before we ran into all the usual stuff, you know, booby-traps, poison spikes, blades. Oh, and spiders, too! But for a group with our level of experience, it was a cakewalk.

(Past Adam steps on a trigger, raising the ground carrying the three.)

Past Plundar: Look out! (He disables a trap. Later, they find the skull.) Jackpot!

Past Fungus: We found it!

Past Korgran: Korgran has completed quest! (He picks up the skull, which starts to transform him into the Skull Sorcerer. He quickly drops the skull.)

Past Fungus: Korgran! What happened?

Past Korgran: Skull is evil. Dark power tried to overtake Korgran.

Past Plundar: If we can't touch it, how are we gonna get it out of here?

Past Korgran: Hmm. I can carry it with axe. That does not talk.

(They bring the skull to Vangelis.)

Past Vangelis: I see your quest was successful!

Past Fungus: Oh, indeed it was, Sire.

Past Korgran: Korgran requests honor of destroying evil skull.

Past Vangelis: Yes, about that, it occurs to me that great power like this could be useful. We could use it to protect our fair city.

Past Fungus: Uh, Sire, no. The skull is evil. It cannot be trusted.

Past Korgran: Korgran felt its evil. Skull must be destroyed!

Past Vangelis: Do you all feel that way? (They all nod.) I was afraid of that.

Past Fungus: Afraid of - aah! (Vangelis drops them down a pit as they scream.)

Past Vangelis: (To the skull.) Now, let's get to know each other better, shall we?

Past Hazza D'ur: We shall. (They laugh.)

Plundar: And, uh, that's the story of our quest. That's how we ended up here. And that's why we're called the Lowly.

Fungus: For there is no one lower than us.

Korgran: Even the worms are above Korgran.

Wu: But how do you know what the King said to the Skull, after you fell into the Pit?

Plundar: Oh, I was just guessing. I made that part up to give it a little more drama.

Fungus: Villainous scoundrel!

Korgran: Evil King!

Plundar: Rotten numbskull.

Vania: Dad. Uh, but you're right. He is evil. I know that now.

Cole: I made a promise a long time ago, that I wouldn't give up! Ever! And I'm not letting you give up. Our friends are out there somewhere, they need us! And King Vangelis is out there and he needs a butt-kicking! And the someone that's gonna do the kicking is us! So from now on, we're not the Lowly. We're the Upply! Because that's where we're going! Up! What do you say? Who's with me?

Plundar: I'm not sure about "The Upply" thing. But what the heck. I'm in! (They all cheer.)

(End of the episode. For more information, click here.)